Grand Forks Herald (September 12, 2009)
It’s not easy being a Blues exec
It turns out that Caribbean-gate was just the tip of the coral reef, if you will, of the extravagant spending of Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota. It all started in March, when word leaked of an expensive reward trip to a Cayman Islands luxury resort.By: Ryan Bakken, Grand Forks Herald
It turns out that Caribbean-gate was just the tip of the coral reef, if you will, of the extravagant spending of Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota.
It all started in March, when word leaked of an expensive reward trip to a Cayman Islands luxury resort. This came at the same time the insurance company was seeking a big rate increase and John Q. Public was tightening his belt because of the economy.
The uproar over this spending led to the firing of boss Michael Unhjem, who floated out the door with a $2.5 million golden parachute. That, naturally, led to a bigger uproar and consequently greater scrutiny by the state’s regulators.
This past week, greater scrutiny revealed that the Caribbean junket was like a coffee slush fund compared with the rest. One executive had his annual bonus payment increase 211 percent over five years, even though the company suffered losses in four of the five years. The suits shared $15 million in bonuses for failure.
These bonuses were laughingly easy to reach, too, Insurance Commissioner Adam Hamm said. I don’t know if that’s true. What do you think of their bonus benchmarks that follow?
- Having a pulse: $400.
- Going all year without showing up for work naked: $500.
- Saying “good morning” to co-workers: $750.
- Keeping your hair well-groomed: $900.
- Keeping your nose hair well-groomed: $1,000.
- Conserving supplies by using fewer than five pencils per year: $1,250.
- Landing a new customer in a state where the company has a virtual monopoly with 90 percent of the health insurance business: $1,500.
- Winning at computer solitaire at work: $1,800 per win.
- Having a nice crisp knot in your tie: $2,000 (only $1,000, however, if it’s an ascot tie).
- Telling a customer that “we’re trying hard to keep your premium costs low” without giggling: $2,200.
- Attending a tea party to protest health care reform: $2,500.
- Attending a tea party to protest health care reform while carrying a picket sign: $3,000.
- Attending a tea party to protest health care reform while carrying a picket sign and chanting about how government control would mean wasteful spending and higher rates: $4,000.
- Attending a company tea party without spilling the tea on your spiffy BCBS blue blazer: $5,000.
- Blue blazer clothing allowance: $6,000.
- Multitasking rewards, such as reading company reports while sitting on the john: $7,000.
- Winning the company’s Cayman Islands luxury resort junket surfing competition: $8,000 and an economy-size tube of sunblock.
- Winning the company’s Cayman Islands luxury resort junket karaoke competition: $8,000 and a guaranteed audition for American Idol.
- Winning the company’s Cayman Islands luxury resort junket margarita-chugging competition: $8,000 and a large bottle of Excedrin.
- Winning the contest for best recycling idea, this year going for the suggestion to shred expense reports and use the paper for bedding at the animal shelter: $10,000.
- Keeping embarrassing business practice documentation from the insurance commissioner and nosy newspaper reporters: $500,000 (uncollected this year).
- Leaving the company with a spotless record: $1 million.
- Leaving the company with a heavily soiled record: $2.5 million.
- Brown-nosing the company’s top executives and board members, so you, too, can one day become a riches-heaped-upon executive: Priceless.